What are the lessons from this lessons:
- Add value
- Relationship is very valuable
More on body language:
Several body parts can be seen as barriers or discouragers of comunication. Time and again, we are told that crossing our hands over our chest says clearly- we are not interested in listening or we are not interested in engaging with you.
The thumb rule is to take away anything that blocks your view or looks like a barrier between us and the rest of the team. Even during a coffee break, one can be aware that we may create a barrier by holding our cup or glass in such a way that seems deliberately, to block our body or create a distance from others.
A senior executive is quoted a saying that he could evaluate his team’s comfort by how high they held their coffee cups. He observed that the more insecure a team-member or a new-comer felt, the higher they held their coffee.
People with their hands held at waist level were supposed to be more comfortable than those with hands chest high. I take most of these myths with a pinch of salt. What do you think? Any experiences to share?
Touch is a more powerful tool.
A study on handshakes by the Income Center for Trade Shows showed that people are two times more likely to remember us, if we shake hands with them. They also found that people react to those with whom they shake hands by being more open and friendly. They explain it as follows: Touch is the most primitive and powerful nonverbal cue. Touching someone on the arm, hand, or shoulder for as little as 1/40 of a second creates a human bond.
Smile is another powerful body tool to build rapport and enable friendly co-operative behavior When you smile at someone, they almost always smile in return. And, because facial expressions trigger corresponding feelings, the smile you get back actually changes that person’s emotional state in a positive way.
Mirroring or taking similar expressions or postures as the other person builds rapport and liking. When we mirror other people with intent, it can be an important part of building rapport and nurturing feelings of mutuality. Mirroring starts by observing a person’s facial and body gestures and then subtly letting your body take on similar expressions and postures. Doing so will make the other person feel understood and accepted.
Have you noticed, when somebody lowers his voice, speaking with clear, even pitch, one pays attention. To sound authoritative, keep your voice down. This tip comes from a Speech Therapist. He advised that before a speech or an important call, he lets his voice relax into its optimal pitch by keeping his lips together and making the sounds “um hum, um hum, um hum.”
We females, have to watch out for our voice not to rise at the ends of sentences- this may indicate a question or seeking approval. He says, “when stating your opinion, use the authoritative arc, in which your voice starts on one note, rises in pitch through the sentence and drops back down at the end.” Excellent advice, I think. More on voice language for collaborative work in the forthcoming posts.
Don’t miss the following the History Channel documentary on body language:
TIP: Become a child and look at the situation simply.
TRY TO- Rephrase: because there’s ALWAYS A BETTER WAY OF SAYING SOMETHING.
-TRY TO WRITE – Direct ways to communicate are better.
-People appreciate hearing the truth. Don’t you?
-Recognize that there is no need to embellish or distort.
-Resolve to be comfortable talking about difficult topics.
-less is more: use the simplest descriptions. More on this topic coming up…
As Tony Robbins says: RAPPORT IS POWER
In any work or relationship or home situation, the thumb rule is to PUT PEOPLE FIRST. ALWAYS RESPECT the people on the team. Watch the videos in the right column. They express my opinions better visually. Do let me know whether you agree or not.
Next we talk about listening effectively.
As a trainer, self-awareness about ourselves; and each person in the audience can be the ideal. I cannot overemphasize the importance of building a rapport in the classroom ; or in any interpersonal context. For those who want to improve their communications, lets get down to the basics and check again to see that we don’t miss the following.
In my Communications trainings, I also use this quiz to understand current communication styles and concerns: (a few questions in each post; with Best Answers and Tips in the next post):
A Few TIPS: