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Body language: Demonstrating respect

Reading body language is easy. Demonstrating body language is tougher. Do you agree? I have been reflecting on how to show respectful body language, while being assertive. I am kind of stuck by cultural aspects of body language, especially in showing respect; rather in creating level playing field. Need more inputs…

How to demonstrate respect using body language

Keep It Level

-Experience a level playing field of communication.
-Be aware of how facial expressions say more than words.
-Monitor your voice tone to diminish dual messages.
-Express your reactions directly without apology.
-Focus on demonstrating respect in every communication.

Bottomline is : Ask yourself:

“How are others who witness these events affected? For whom is demonstrating respect most important-those involved or those who witness the incident?”

Would appreciate lots of inputs in this area.


Eye contact is crucial

Soft firm voice to improve clarity

Any other tips that you can give?


Listening is not agreeing

We cannot work together, if we do not listen to each other. That is not to say that we have to appease our obstinate child; or whining subordinate; or unreasonable customer. Actively listen; so that the other person responds and feels comfortable for the conversation. There is no feeling that it is a one-sided situations. If the other person is on the defensive….then no real communication can take place. There would be no compliance, there would be no improvement, there would be no teamwork. Period.

There has to be a perception of a level playing field. For that:

This is important – Tell The Other Person That You Really Heard
-Acknowledge what others are saying. Mirror or Rephrase what the other person said.
Say that I see your point. Validate others’ positions before promoting your own.
-Concentrate on listening without jumping to your views. If it is totally unreasonable, don’t interrupt; write down the exact words which the other person is saying.

YOU CAN VALIDATE THE POSITION  of others without agreeing with them.

-Separate high standards of conversation from disapproval and judgment. Don’t yet place yourself in a position of judgement.

YOU STILL ARE NOT AGREEING, just listening; clearing the barriers of communication.

Try this …and let me know what you feel

Interpersonal Quiz- Body Language

As I mentioned in my previous post – Interpersonal Quiz, building rapport is very important; after all, even in the Hi-tech business world, it is two or more human beings who do business. We like to do business with people whom we are comfortable with. Check out:

Look at yourself from the other person’s perspective   (not biased self-check) and answer:

Be honest! Answers in the next post…

Some tips for the previous polls:

1. Meeting and greeting: It’s good to initiate the introduction and introduce yourself with a handshake and smile.  If shaking hands is difficult, a quick head nod is a good substitute.  Initiating the introduction with a smile and handshake (or head nod) helps build rapport. Building rapport helps make others and ourselves comfortable in a conversation; or any situation.

We can get cooperation and productive results when there is openness and rapport. Otherwise, in this competitive environments, it is easy to take adversarial positions. That is quite unnecessary or even harmful. Do you agree?

2. Remembering Names: It’s good to call people by name whenever possible.  It makes a good, lasting impression, and it makes the other person feel important and special.  I admire a few friends who can remember names and address newcomers with their names. Something I am trying to improve upon. To help remember names, I try these techniques:

Repeat:   After the person tells you his or her name, immediately use it several times in the conversation.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jane.”
“I agree with you, Jane.”
“That was a great joke, Jane!”

Associate:   Associate the person’s name to something unique and special.
E.g. : “Gina has beautiful green eyes.”

In your mind, call her – “GG” –  Green Gina

“Josh tells funny jokes.”

In your mind, call him – “JJ” –  Joking Josh

Associate the name with a visual picture.

E.g. “Sandy” –  visualize a sandy beach.

“Glenn”  –  visualize John Glenn launching
into space.

“Lucy”- visualize the ‘I love Lucy’ poster.

Associate the name with a personal connection.

E.g. “Jeff” –  My uncle’s name is Jeff.

“Susie”  –  I had a kitten named Susie.

Jot:   Jot the person’s name down with an identifying description that will help your memory later.  It can be on Outlook contacts or behind his business card or a daily journal.

E.g. “Jack” –  tall;  glasses;  works in Accounting;  has twin sister; runs marathons;  new to Portland.

Facial Language:

Smiling when greeting people and at appropriate times greatly        helps build rapport. In some Eastern cultures, a serious face may indicate formality or superiority in status.


Do watch this video:


JUST FOR FUN::::Watch the body language of business leaders and answer the questionnaire below that:




Interpersonal Communication Quiz

Outcome of communication

Communication:Begin with the end in mind

As a trainer, self-awareness about ourselves; and each person in the audience can be the ideal. I cannot overemphasize the importance of building a rapport in the classroom ; or in any interpersonal context. For those who want to improve their communications, lets get down to the basics and check again to see that we don’t miss the following.

In my Communications trainings, I also  use this quiz to understand current communication styles and concerns: (a few questions in each post; with Best Answers and Tips in the next post):


Interpersonal skills: an overview

Interpersonal communication skills

Interpersonal communication skills

There are plenty of Models for Interpersonal Communication, which have value. I personally like to use the above model (refined through experience), where one decides how to communicate with colleagues, friends, family, children; based on the desired outcome.

If we want to motivate a child or team-member, there are several steps we can use before we deliver the message itself. There are other persuasive elements we can use to motivate a recent acquaintance to say, part with the phone number of his colleague. The idea is not to manipulate, but to truly engage him and his colleague in a win-win opportunity. Isn’t that how collaborative projects begin?

On the other hand, if we want to clarify study or work instructions, a feedback and clarification loop will be a better communication strategy. Listening skills have to improve too. Have you been in a situation where things got messed up because you thought the instruction was pretty simple; but not to the other person?

I surely have had several occasions like that. So I have learnt this communication model the hard way!

Goal setting – Social, interpersonal goals

Appmothers blog: Happy New Year e card

Happy New Year

I prefer to make my social goals as the calendar pages turn. Not my work goals or professional goals.

Year end or New Year reminds us about our other roles in life, especially as children, parents, brothers and sister, spouses, friends. Therefore, this a good time to set non-work goals.

Year end reminds me that we are all part of a larger picture. That there is a continuity in this generational journey and we are capable of unconditional love. We are enriched by unconditional love. Psychology tells us – we are who we are because of the unconditional love we have received.

It is time to nurture all the larger community. Thank you, parents. Thank you, brothers and sisters. Thank you, neighbours. This quarter, I took up voluntary teaching assignment with under-served children. This does bring me 4 days a week of happiness. What voluntary work gives you happiness?

Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Facebook Friends?

This is an interesting quiz I found on WordPress


We all have Facebook friends with certain tells in their choice of status updates. There are the unabashedly peppy, the unrelenting complainers and the 800-word posters. To test how well you can identify your Facebook friends by these clues, we’ve built a simple quiz: This app will randomly select status updates from your recent newsfeed and present you with five possible authors for each one. (Note: This will not work for all users due to differences in privacy settings. If you’re asked for your password, you’ll be logging into Facebook. TIME is not recording or storing your password.)

[time-interactive id=facebook_friend_quiz]

Researchsuggests that a lot of our offline personality can shine through on Facebook, even if most of us complain about our friends’ behavior online. (And don’t delay. Facebook will soon be shutting down the service that lets us make apps like this one or the classic “How Much Time…

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Quiz for you Multiple Intelligences- Take the test

personality quiz

Discover your multiple intelligences

Another way to look at developing yourself, and growing is Multiple Intelligences. Each one of us has multiple strengths:

  • Verbal/Linguistic
    People with Linguistic intelligence are naturally good with writing or speaking and memorization.
  • Logical/Mathematical
    People with Logical intelligence are driven by logic and reasoning.
  • Visual/Spatial
    People with Visual intelligence are good at remembering images and are aware of surroundings.
  • Bodily/Kinesthetic
    People with Kinesthetic intelligence love movement, have good motor skills and are aware of their bodies.
  • Musical
    People with musical intelligence are musically gifted and have a “good ear” for rhythm and composition.
  • Intrapersonal
    People with intrapersonal intelligence are adept at looking inward.
  • Interpersonal
    People with Interpersonal intelligence are good with people and thrive in social interactions.
  • Naturalist
    People with Naturalist intelligence have a sensitivity to and appreciation for nature.

Read the rest of this entry